End of life care!!!

Spent a traumatic week at the Marie Curie Hospice Hampstead, North London around the bedside of somebody I love - she died late Friday night. Not something easy to talk about but her 'foster granddaughter' summed up my feelings on Saturday when she wrote on Facebook.

Have u ever cried, till u can cry no more and realised that ur body is still sobbing but thee is nothing u can o to stop?

Tears wouldn't stop - had to sit in the garden - the only place I could go away from all sound so the neighbours wouldn't hear my painful raking crying. Phone didn't stop ringing - people asking if I'm Ok - all were appreciated even if I couldn't say much through the tears.

The concept of being referred to a Hospice to die is something I've not had any experience of before - a real shock to the system. Located not far from where I live but going every day with the feeling of dread, just couldn't handle public transport - the local taxi company were marvelous - seems their services are used frequently by others in the same situation going to the same hospice.

To be honest it is a much more friendly atmosphere and much nicer than a hospital but to be sent there after being told there is no hope and you are going to die is mind blowing - end of life care they call it. It's not actually dying with dignity - many people linger on for weeks and that is what I can't get my head round - it's unnerving. The time between the coma state and actual death - is agonising to witness. The staff though are just marvelous but they have to be special to work in that kind of environment. They even extend their support to visitors - much appreciated when people are distressed.

Checking some of the blog, by sheer coincidence Lynne Featherstone MP penned about her hospice visit North London Hospice - she wrote,

I have always been shocked - that end of life care (dying basically) is often left to charities rather than being part of the NHS and properly funded by them.

She has hit the nail on the head - I was more than surprised to learn that the hospice is funded by donations and not the NHS. Doesn't seem right somehow - there should be at least some contribution. I fully support the motion about this.

Still struggling to get myself back on track - back to unpacking my few remaining boxes. Grandchildren came round yesterday completely lifting my mood. After jumping all over me, such polite little beings (shoes off in nana's house), first question, where were their slippers for my house - where were all their toys. Full of beans they inspected the new layout of my flat and of course it was down in the garden......