My thoughts exactly

Find it really weird sometimes to see something written by a complete stranger which exactly echoes my own sentiments. Haven't got a clue who Paul Linford is but he seems to be on my wavelength over our parliamentary team's election of Deputy Leader. Vince Cable is a real gentleman from the old school but thinking about imagery and public perception, I'm just wondering how the combined team of Ming & Vince will come across to the general public.

Private hell: A kick in the teeth from Blair

It's not ladylike to swear but today all I can say is *b...* Blair.
Been following the issue about dentists but not in real depth. Heard a big speel on the news a few days ago about making the service more cost effective. My head is already crowded with so many things so didn't take much interest. After all we have a local dentist and for years there has been no problems - to be honest they've been brilliant. I've only ever had to pay for white fillings - I'm allergic to the metal stuff they put in your mouth. So the national issue about dentists contracts has mostly gone over my head.

Today it hit home with a vengance. Have a back teeth bridge which periodically has been flaring up with an absess. My regular dentist Gita travelled home for some weeks so a temp looked at it just before conference, gave me some antibiotics and gum gel. Seemed to be OK but was told I had to make an appointment in a month for a proper investigation. Not a problem I thought.

My first surprise was to find out that Gita (the owner of the practice) is now only taking private patients (we have a lot of well heeled residents living on the Camden side) and all the NHS treatments are to be done by two new dentists.

Ok, what choice do I have. Went in today and was told that the whole practice is now only accepting general NHS work like fillings and check ups, anything more complicated has to be treated privately or be refered to the dental hospital. Even for the hygenist we have to pay £15 - there's no more National Health cleaning of teeth. Thought, Oh no! - kept quiet whilst I was being examined. The dentist went on to say that I need to have my old bridge removed and have gum surgery. A new bridge has to be made and refitted. The description of what was being discussed turned my stomach - had never heard of gum surgery - sounded so gruesome and downright scary.

After taking the x-rays I was informed that if they are going to do the work it will cost me over £1000. What! I was absolutely flabbergasted. The alternative is they'll refer me to the hospital as it's becoming an emergency. Was given some stronger anibiotics and asked to return in 10 days with my decision.

Could hardly speak as I left the premises. Didn't want to vent my anger on the dentist but since then my blood has been boiling. What a waste of resources. The practice has 3 dentists, 2 of which are specialists who could take on so much work. All it means is that the dental hospital (we are even lucky to have one in London) will now become over-booked. It will be stress to have to wait for appointments, never mind the inconvenience of travelling down there.

I wish we could kick Blair out quicker than he's going, the man has destroyed the whole political system in Britain. He's got the money for expensive dental treatment and is oblivious to the needs of us mere mortals.

Friday update: Just noticed this BBC news report on the possible effect of the the new contract system - found the perfect picture for my posting - ouch!

Always looking or a bargain

Been trying out the Desk Top Publishing Software program, Page Plus 11. It's the one now recommended by the party as a cheaper alternative to other packages currently being used which are being phased out (PageMaker 6 is out of the window). Everybody producing artwork or downloading party docs is expected to convert over the next few months. Cost is naturally always a consideration with Lib Dems - there's a brilliant deal going on at the moment for party members which reduces the cost by more than 50% off the retail price so at £43 it's a steal.

My luck seems to be on a roll at the moment. Always looking to save a buck, I searched old dependable E-bay and found one for a tenner less than that. Unopened, what a bargain - seemed too good to be true. Bit sceptical, thinking it might be a copy but the seller assured me that it was just an unwanted gift. Listed as an odd item mixed up with the other things from her house (usual stuff- kids clothes, toys etc) took her word for it. It arrived all sealed up - I was elated at getting such a good deal.

Installed on my computer, couldn't wait to have a look at some of the key features. Won't really have much time until after the May elections to get into the nitty gritty of it but after speaking to old dependable Mark Pack at HQ, found what I was looking for. PDF import - Page Plus 11 lets you open and edit (yes edit, I've tried it) any PDF file. Thought 'thank heavens' for that. Designing artwork is one of my better skills but it's been so frustrating when somebody sends out a PDF document saying 'have a look' and recommend any changes or tidy it up. For that facility alone it's worth the money.

My introduction to E-Bay a couple of years ago was through Pete Dollimore the London Region campaigns chair. He is always looking for Riso ink. My first purchase was an HP A3 printer. Didn't need anything flash (only use it for A3 posters mainly for conferences). Found one hardly used and including two new ink cartridges from a London based foreign art student who had finished her course. Cost me £60 and she and her friend kindly brought it over to Kings Cross station one Saturday morning. It's a cultural thing, respect for elders and all that but the size of the box was massive and an awkward shape so seeing me they both insisted and carried it round the corner for me to the 390 bus stop (bus stops outside my house).

Since then learned the skill of knowing what is genuine or junk. I've found so many things which are incredibly cheaper than over the counter even with the postage. Saves me so much time not having to troop to the shops looking for selective items. Often wonder where people get them from though. The other group of sellers I look for are those who buy things and don't use them - quite surprising what you can find. Recently stocked up on my Body Shop items and lipsticks. Lipfinity in Boots is £9+ - I've just bought three (my shades) for £3 each, including postage - all new in sealed boxes. Sorry guys but we women need our lippy.

My sentimental purchases recently - a DVD (full version) of my brother's film League of Extrordinary Gentlemen and from America a signed hardback copy of one of his first comic books Leave it to Chance. I'll probably will never view the film or read the book (not my cup of tea) - just keeping them for my grandson who may never ever meet his uncle if we don't find him.

Might have a go during the Summer at selling myself. I'm very curious how it all works and what response I'll get. My sister Anne-Louise says one of her friends does it for pin money.

For now it's all Lib Dem stuff.

Sorry Mr Sweeper

We have such a miserable road sweeper. To get a 'hello' or a 'smile' out of him is a struggle. He's as regular as clockwork but moans and mutters to himself every time he sees a pile of rubbish or any dirt on the ground as he goes along. He's cheeky as well, if he sees rubbish from somebody's house and nobody is looking, he sweeps it back inside the gate. With all the garbage from the tenants below, after the regular Monday refuse collection there's always a pile of muck (from the split bags) inside our gate when I get home which Mrs Muggings here has to sweep up and bag otherwise it will stay there indefinitely. I'm afraid he's not going to to be very pleased with me in the morning......

Those who have been reading this blog will know that in my spare time and there's not much of it with all my Lib Dem activities, I've spent months landscaping the back portion of the garden. Know many of the neighbours though it was a joke (presumed I didn't know how) when I started but now it looks lovely with all the bulbs, flowers and bushes growing and the area for the grass and shed all marked out. Next job, the slabs and to erect the shed before spreading the top soil prior to sowing the grass seed.

I've been thinking how to move the sand from the house near the station to where I live (need it to bank up the ground and lay the slabs where the shed is going). It's not that far but 25 kilo bags is no joke to move. Was getting a bit concerned I would loose the freebie because the house is up for sale and I've been saying I'd be collecting it for weeks now. My friend who owns the shop across the road surprised me early this morning by saying if I could meet him around 7 pm when he returns from the cash and carry he will pump up the tyres on his cartons trolley and I can borrow it - he's got one of those tyre pumps that plug into the car battery. The only condition I had to fish it out from the mountain of junk in the back of the shop. Thought that's a turn up for the books because he's not over generous about anything.

In the drizzling rain covered in dust from the store I looked like a disheveled rat pushing it down the road this evening - wasn't deterred - it was so light with the bouncing tyres. Thought the sand job can be sorted at the weekend when my friend Robert is around. Oh no! Things don't work out as planned. Robert arrived after 8 pm and quite spontaneously said that he will help me there and then. For a man who lives by a routine, that's another turn up for the books, even with the drizzling rain I wasn't going to argue, so off we went.

The bags of sand have been stacked for so long they were covered with muck, leaves and snails. Didn't bother me but Robert grimaced every time he had to touch one. Another unforeseen problem, many of the bags had split due to age. What a performance - took longer than expected balancing them carefully so the the sand wouldn't spill into the street. Well that was the intention anyway - didn't quite work out that way.

Sods law, hardly met any familiar faces earlier but suddenly neighbours and other locals I know seemed to appear either going home from the station or out to buy food from the chippy or drinks from the offy. What a laugh - you can imagine some of the jokes. The task took about 15 trips and unfortunately there's a long trail of sand going up and down the street. A shorter distance I might have swept it up but even I don't have the courage to start sweeping the street late at night. Doesn't look like there will be any heavy rain tonight so think it will be a case of avoiding the sweeper when I go out in the morning.

Have you bought your stamps?

Emails are abundant this time of the year with elections coming up in May. One I received gives serious food for thought to save money. It says,

Just a reminder that stamps are going up by 2p on 3rd April. Don't forget - if you need stamps for your local party or for the local elections, buy them asap!

With all the election campaign mail to be posted - thinking about it - with an increase of 2p on a first class stamp, 5000 letter x 2p = £100. That's a lot of money if a campaign budget is tight. Probably sound advice to go and buy a wad of stamps before the rise in price.

Cllr Angela Brook speaks out

I was deeply saddened at the way Islington hustings was handled, particularly the deselection of Cllr Doreen Scott (pictured left). I briefly mentioned it in my posting Some mothers do have them - one of the comments described it as a 'clearly orchestrated Hustings'. That I have to agree with. To see two mature hard working councillors trying to convince a 'few activists in the know' that they should be allowed to continue, knowing it had already been decided in advance who they would vote for was heart-rending. I just hate to see people humiliated in this way - I really don't have the ruthless streak to treat party members so maliciously.

Since her deselection there have been several newspaper reports about it and Doreen herself has spoken out about the appalling way she has been treated. What's so special about her some readers may ask? Doreen is paraplegic due to serious illness and is confined to a wheelchair - she must have 24 hour care. Despite all that she was an excellent Mayor who marked her place in Islington's history. Her work on the council and other organisations she belonged to such as the Camden & Islington Mental Heath Trust was her life - her attendance record could put many of her colleagues to shame.

Doreen is so admired that even many of her political opponents have written glowing but truthful commendations - one recently from Pat Haynes - Why Doreen will have a place in our hearts
Pat says,

She did so much for the disabled during her year as Mayor. She got voted runner-up in the national mayor awards. I was so sorry to read that Doreen Scott has been "dumped" by the Liberal Democrats, despite her willingness to continue. Doreen has been a loyal member of her party and although we have been politically opposed, we have worked together and will continue to do for causes we believe in.

What is more disconcerting is some of the response letters from our own party activists (candidates) which are nothing more than cold cleverly worded sanctimonious rhetoric and most insulting. What does it mean she was replaced by a 'stronger' candidate. Is that criteria based on age, education, physical ability or what? After eight years of being a councillor in Holloway ward, to be kicked out without anyone having the decency to speak with her first is below the belt and not the image of the true Liberal Democrats.

What happened to the selection of candidates in my ward St Georges was not much better. One of the candidates actually stood up and said "I was told to stand" (he doesn't even live in the ward) and of course he was selected. Don't think Cllr Graham Baker (also deselected) realized the knives were really out for him. We tried to canvass enough votes for him and even brought some of the local ward members but those in the know far out numbered the ordinary members present. (gone are the days when they ring round to get as many local party members to attend hustings and vote). Several members have spoken to me about the matter and many are disgusted but few have the courage to voice their opinions in public. (They wouldn't dare or they would be out on their ear).

I was emailed this posting on Iain Dale's Dairy - some people certainly have a lot to say anonymously - good use of words - I've cribbed a couple. Looks like I'm going to have to write about the whole sorry saga - least to hear my side of the story and to shut up the rumour spreader (all a figment of his own wild imagination).


At least St Georges ward councillor, Angel Brook (she's standing down because she moving away so doesn't have to justify her remarks) has now made a public statement particularly about Doreen - No way to treat Doreen.


Angela says,


Her presence as a councillor was also immensely useful to the local Liberal Democrats. Perception is more powerful than fact in politics and the Islington Lib-Dems, deservedly or not, have a poor reputation for caring for, and about, the vulnerable. That balancing influence has now gone. I hope arrogance does not prevent the Lib-Dems reflecting on the fact that this was a cruel and unnecessary thing to do.

The rest of her letter has summed up my feelings most articulately.

The public perception is that we are a party of nice caring people. In recent times I've seen some dirty tactics creep in which I find difficult to stomach.

Camden's Campaign Launch Reception - See you all there

You are invited to Camden's Campaign Launch Reception - Enjoy this private champagne reception at Proud Galleries Camden, London's trendiest photography gallery.



Many people keep asking what's happened to Charles Kennedy MP. Can assure readers he's very much around. If you are in London and want to have a chat with the man himself, come to an exclusive evening reception to celebrate the launch of Camden Liberal Democrats' campaign for Camden. Meet other top parliamentarians, Sarah Teather MP, Lord (Tim) Garden and a host of others.

You can also view an exhibition of over 150 striking photo journalist images, documenting key moments in the history of Israel from 1943. The exhibition titled, Eretz Israel - the Birth of a Nation has some amazing photographes by Paul Goldman & David Rubinger.

It's on Wednesday, March 22nd (budget day) from 6.30pm to 9.30pm at,
Proud Galleries Camden, Stables Market, off Chalk Farm Road, London NW1 8AH (nearest tube Chalk Farm or Camden Town).

Tickets £50 a head or £200 for five.

Reserve your place by email to mailto:proud@camdenlibdems.org.uk or call 07967 110136. Please make cheques payable to 'Camden Liberal Democrats'.

See you all there....

Update: comment from Phil one of the organisers - Just perfect, thanks :-)
D’you think Guido will come?

Giving Shamrock with love

Bit noisy around this area tonight - St Patricks day - how the Irish love to celebrate. As early as 6am the sound of Irish music was bellowing out from one of the flats. This evening big Eddy (flat below) came home early and put on his music as the kids call it - only happens on special occasions so can't complain. It only went off when they all went out to the pub. Can expect a hullabaloo when they start returning.

Popped down the road to Kentish Town this evening and passing the local flower show noticed a sign saying Shamrock for sale - little pots for £1.75. First time in my life I've even seen it growing, I was fascinated. Looked like a weed (ordinary glover). Couldn't see any shoots with four leaves (supposed to be lucky). The shop owner put me off buying it by saying it's not easy to grow. Said that she only gets it in once a year because of local Irish demand and doesn't know much about it. I was so cold with the wind blowing me senseless didn't want to prolong the discussion. She'll probably reduce it tomorrow so I'll buy a couple of pots and see what happens.

Seem to have developed green fingers. For months have been buying small pots of discounted plants and bulbs (low maintenance type which flower or have colourful leaves) everywhere I see them. Sought advise which compost goes with which kind of plant - repot them and keep them in the kitchen until they take root. Looks like a jungle at times but the warmth from the central heating does wonders. Replant them outside and wait. Last years batch are starting to look lovely.

Never thought I'd ever take a real interest in gardening. Shows what having a grandchild can do for you. Don't really have much time but it's certainly therapeutic from all the Lib Dem stuff.

Bought Naim some wellies and a small gardening set. He's as sharp as a button - he actually dug the holes in the front and helped me plant bulbs. Now they are flowering he gets so excited everytime he comes. Last week took him down to the back where I have been preparing the ground to plant the grass seeds for him to play. He rushed around making me laugh. There's one corner left to be dug which has a huge mound of rubble and soil (where the shed is going). What did he do, chose that spot as his target to investigate. Kept deliberately jumping in the muddy puddles. Don't think my son Sule was amused when he saw the state of Naim's clothes but least he won't forget to bring him a change of clothing next time he drops him off.

With this cold weather can't see myself having any chance to continue the landscaping this weekend so it's back to finishing my artwork and delivering leaflets.

Lynne Featherstone becomes Ms London

There's been a lot of speculation recently on some blogs about who will be the Deputy leader. Last night's close of nominations saw Vince Cable, David Heath and Matthew Taylor selected so now it's a three-way contest to become Deputy Leader of the Liberal Democrats.

It will be interesting to see who the MP's will vote for on 29th March.

Paul Burstow and Richard Younger Ross have also been nominated for the post of Chief Whip - MPs will vote Wednesday 22nd March.

Wonder what the pundits and bloggers will have to say before then.

Full round up of the Shadow cabinet


Interestingly Lynne Featherstone has been given the portfolio for London. Realistically she's the best choice from amongst our London MP's. Looks like we on the London Region exec will have a Ms London (that's a turn up for the books). Knowing Lynne, she will definitely take a positive interest in what the Region is doing and not sit on the sidelines as did her predecessors.

Throwing up a challenge to Lib Dem bloggers

Keep coming across Lib Dem bloggers and others who contact me after reading my blog who do not have a Lib Dem bloggers button on their own blogs nor are they linked to the Aggregated list. Usually when I ask why they claim it's because they are not aware of it. Most of them seem to be up north or somewhere out in the sticks. Some are nervous that others may think their blog is not good enough. The few I've contacted have all quickly come on board. It's not about who writes the best blog but encouraging more to take it up and having a go. The Campaigns Department at HQ are keen to get more elected officials blogging and other members across UK.

Did notice a sudden influx of bloggers during the leadership election.


Also at LDO's Conference fringe meeting Ryan Cullan was given a public thank you (took him by surprise by the embarrassed look on his face) for starting the Aggregated list however I do feel it is not promoted enough.

If everybody who knows of or comes across another LD blogger, would be helpful if they could email the writers or post a comment.

I throw this as a challenge to the blog masters to get more Lib Dem bloggers involved by spreading the word and see how many they can bring on board.

Getting angry about rubbish but who really listens?

The general refuse collection in Islington is reasonably efficient - they usually keep to the specified day and time. It's the men on the round in this area who make my blood boil. They don't bother to pick up the spillage if bags break or there's a hole because some creature has been scavenging for food during the night - the rubbish is left strewn in the front and worse in the street. They are also in the habit of leaving small bags behind and other bits and pieces. If there are many bags they also leave the heavy ones behind. Any broken household items they don't take it. Actually the main culprit is one of the long term pre-loaders who picks and chooses what he picks up from each property and dumps on the street collection piles. We often see new men on the round, full of enthusiasm who do the job properly but they get told what they should or should not do so eventually they all get into bad habits. I've complained countless times but it just falls on death ears.

The only way round it is to be on guard when the van turns ups. Not practical if a person is out. This morning they were late. Just got back as they turned up. Stood there like a sergeant major and even carried out two of the four bags they left behind myself and dumped them on the collection pile - the last two, one of the other other loaders rushed up to take them from me. Dared them to leave them behind. Knew they wouldn't, they could see how mad I was.

In furious mode I got out the broom to sweep but the muck left behind made me feel sick. In front of the gate was worse. The whole place was stinking. Wasn't going to pick it up with my hands - thought what the heck and fixed up the jet wash hose-pipe - what a difference it made. Never realised so much filth stuck to the ground and in all the nooks and crannies. Felt a right twerp hosing down the pavement outside the gate but wasn't going to leave it to blow back inside.

Local residents and other people passing lightened my mood. So many stopped for a quick chat and one cheeky chap parking his van at the meter slot in front of the gate asked if I could wash it whilst I was at it. Somebody else made a joke about last minute cleaning before the hose-pipe ban comes in.

The problem is that the refuse collection is contracted out to a company, so the council refer a complainant to them who when contacted don't take a blind bit of notice.
There are no provisions for the supply or purchase of dustbins so everything has to get put in bags. Tried to get one and was told to go to B & Q - who is going to lug a bin on three buses, certainly not me, so gave that up as a bad idea.
There is a collection scheme where they take 5 household items but you have to phone up for an appointment which can take a couple of weeks - anything broken they wont take. How many people actually bother to phone or even know who to contact?
There are no provisions for 'collecting' garden rubble or bits of wood and broken furniture.
What happens is either junk remains piled up in the front of properties or people go and dump it in the street. Around here they put it on the corner on the Camden side of the road because they have a wonderful touring service for collecting street junk.

In practical terms all these problems are solvable if one has a car, a good income, a social conscience and has the time, skill and inclination to deal with the bureaucracy but anybody else is just stuffed.

Some mothers do have them

Cllr Dave Barnes is on the move again and has now joined the Conservatives. It means Islington now has its first Conservative councillor in 10 years.

Wish he would make up his mind. He has represented Highbury East ward for 20 years but in that time he has gone from Labour to Independent, to Liberal Democrat, to Independent, back to Labour and now Conservatives. He's living in cuckoo land - he hasn't got a hope of being elected in May - the Conservatives don't exist in Islington.

Another former Lib Dem councillor, Cllr Richard Heseltine (St Mary's ward) who is now Independent, has presented the council with a petition calling for the Prime Minister to be immortalised in Islington High Street. Can't believe it he is actually wants a statue of the Tony Blair to be erected in the borough. He said: "Tony Blair is Islington's most famous son and the only Islington resident to ever become Prime Minister". That may be but it's ridiculous to think that a Liberal Democrat run council would even consider the idea.

Met my neighbour this morning who says he is no longer voting for the Lib Dems and isn't renewing his membership. As for delivering leaflets nobody should dare ask him again. Don't know what to say to him. Told me quite bluntly I'm wasting my time - loyalty can only go so far. Feel very disturbed that we have lost a whole local delivery network of people in my ward St Georges since last week, all who aren't going to renew their subs.

Last word about the Conference from Willie Rennie

Conference closed and after collecting up the bits and bobs from LDO's stall and my suitcase from the hotel, made my way to the Station. It was freezing cold on the platform so with an hour to wait for the train to Leeds, I went inside to sit on the one of the benches.

Cllr Wayne Hoban (Haringey) and I were discussing amongst other things, Ming Campbell's closing conference speech and the missing Willie Rennie who had not appear on stage when his name was called out. We were laughing at Chris Rennard having to adlib a script until he appeared. Suddenly a familiar voice interrupted our conversation "Susanne! is that seat taken?" "No" I responded without thinking. "Good" he replied "can you keep it for me, Willie Rennie and I are so cold on the platform so let me go and get him". Looked up and noticed Sam (think that's his name), the young man who had been fronting the desk during Simon's leadership campaign. He dropped his papers on the seat and dashed off.

Didn't quite connect him with Willie Rennie, our new MP but as he returned with his companion, it was obvious it was the man himself. I was completely taken aback and naturally curiosity got the better of me. Wayne on the other hand commented as he approached us that he would like to ask him what happened during the missing 15 mins. "Easy, we will ask him" I responded.

All pleasantries observed, they sat down. Willie's phone rang so I was able to ask Sam my burning question. He said that after Willie won the by-election, the job came up as his research assistant. He applied and got the job with an immediate start. It wasn't that he had left Simon in the lurch but it was an opportunity not to be missed.

Off the phone - Willie was asked what we were both dying to know. What had happened to him? Apparently he had been told the time to be on stage. He had actually arrived early and thinking he had plenty of time, went to refresh himself (the most natural thing in the world). Nobody had thought about letting him know the programme was running 15 mins ahead of schedule. When he didn't appear on stage after his name was announced, everybody started panicking looking for him. Well, we all know you can hardly disturb a person during his most private moment.

Thought it was very nice of him to even bother to explain to us. He kept insisting that should anybody ask, to mention it wasn't his fault. I don't think he was particularly amused by the cock-up but he really made us laugh the way he told the story.

Diversity motion where do we go from here?

Saturday I was up bright and early for the G8 committee meeting. It's one of those committees where one has to have facts and figures to hand and know what you are talking about. Least I can say after 3 years my opinion is respected and my reports back to the ECE are accurate. Chris Rennard only stayed a few minutes (busy man) - everything had more or less been discussed and agreed in advance. So pleased because I was anxious to get to the Conference Hall in time for the Diversity motion (F8 Campaign for ethnic minority Liberal Democrat MPs).

Really sad to learn that Harold Sykes is leaving ALDC. He's a man after my own heart who says it as it it is and doesn't mince words. In London they say it's being blunt and some actually take it as being rude to which I just say 'poppycock'. It's calling a spade a spade. I hate all the pussy-footing around trying to be so unnecessarily diplomatic amongst colleagues.

Before going to the auditorium, rushed to the registration desk to pick up the amendments for the day. Heard that 4 amendments had been submitted for the F8 motion - noticed the one I was most worried about was not listed so obviously had been rejected. Flash thought through my head, oh no, there's going to be some angry voices but another thought - good, means less of an argumentative debate.

The one amendment I was most pleased about was the ethnic monitoring. Thought finally it's going to be done as promised. We need statistics to know the ethnic make up of party members and candidates. For so long it's all been down to collating various individuals knowledge.

Two years ago after an FE review, the publication of the REAG report and a long consultation with EM members, as a member of the English Council Executive I succeeded in getting a motion passed to implement monitoring. It was a hard slog. The motion wasn't welcomed - the end result wasn't as EM's wanted but as one person at party HQ personally decided it should be. Found the process so frustrating because he has personally no knowledge of anything to do with EM issues. Wasn't really prepared to listen to my opinion. I'm quite sure if it wasn't for the REAG report and the people involved, the motion would have been rejected outright. It cost me a lot in personal insults from some members who I never considered in my widest dreams would have been so two-faced about the issue. The process was tactfully delayed for months until there was no choice but to pass it. I had to bite my tongue many times especially when being deliberately cold-shouldered. Had to take being talked down to like I don't know what I'm saying. Had to pretend I didn't know what was going on. Had to ignore the sarcastic and at times spiteful comments said behind my back (there' s always somebody will tell you). Up to now in certain quarters I'm ignored because of it.

Party HQ is like a little village - there are habitual gossipers continually trying to boost their status as somebody in the know who like to stick the knife in then turn round to blame somebody else when the shit hits the fan as if butter wouldn't melt in their mouth. I feel deeply ashamed of the behaviour of those who betray trusts and continue to back-stab.

Even after it was over, just knew that unless pushed, nothing would happen and it wouldn't be implemented. Least I was confident those higher up were fully aware of what had happened and who were involved, I've been most vocal in my annoyance. Just couldn't keep it in. The hypocrisy and lip-service has been hard to stomach. A tactical waiting game in place. It was promised that a motion to the Federal conference would be presented. When? was always the question.

The motion presented by the Region was timely. Mark Valladares took the bull by the horns after the General Election when ethnic candidates started to become angry about the parties attitude to the issue but unfortunately he wasn't aware of some of the history and he omitted some relevant parts. Personally I was quite surprised that suddenly there was apparent backing from the top down for the motion. Suppose I should have had more of a discussion with him beforehand but decided to go with the flow fully aware of other background moves.

Simon's amendment threw me a bit. I know there was no hidden agenda behind it because he's been in the forefront of pushing the issue and been stabbed in the back for it in the past. This time around quite sure he wouldn't have put his hand in the fire without prior consultation and agreed strategy with the inner circle. My concern was the time it will take when candidates are already being selected for seats.

Mark kept insisting that he wouldn't be the one to officially propose the motion. Just knew he would have to, wasn't going to explain why. He's a little naive in thinking that MP's would jump at the chance now that Ming will be choosing a shadow-cabinet. It's a contencious issue and many wouldn't want to align themselves with something so internally sensitive. Wish he had practiced what he was going to say because whilst he was confident with the subject matter he came across rather weakly.

The anger, frustration and division of opinions came out in some of the other speakers. Nasser Butt made me laugh because he was originally going to go against the motion but changed tact. To give him his due he has been knocking his head against a brick wall trying to get something done about the matter for over 15 years. He's no fool and being realistic he knew that if the motion was rejected it would be years before it would come up again.

As anticipated the motion has passed - least there's a concrete commitment to do something. Simon in his capacity as Party President immediately held a brief Sunday morning meeting with those of us involved. Amazingly for once, all factions were united.

A magical day

Not had time to post for the past week. People have been telephoning and emailing asking if I'm OK - blog fans. Nothing wrong, just my grandson Naim was with me for the weekend - meetings every evening during the week and sorting out all the last minute artwork and other bumf for Conference was overwhelming. I was literally sleeping on my feet trying to fit it all in.

Last Thursday evening, managed to get to Simon's thank you drinks. Wasn't sure if it would be possible but glad I was able to squeeze it in. Southwark is a bit spooky at night at the best of times - got lost in the dark but eventually found my way to the venue. Simon actually turned up on time. Can't help admiring him for his tenacity and drive. Having just lost the leadership election 3 hours earlier, he walked in as cool as a cucumber, promptly shook hands with everybody and kissed the women he recognized on the cheek. Gave such a rousing thank you speech - he didn't leave anybody out. His campaign website has since closed with a thank you message which has reiterated his comments about Ming.

Even his mother was there like a matriarch, so proud of her son. Sat with her for some time before I left. Sort of brought out the sentimental side of me a little. Simon and I are of a similar age and his mother could have been mine. My mother died some time ago and it just made me think.

Didn't dare drink more than half a glass of wine - not a good drinker at the best of times. Rushed home to finish packing - only had a couple of hours sleep - was worried in case I overslept and missed the early morning train.

The weather forecast claimed we would see snow. Not much chance of that in London. The weather as I left home was actually warm even at that time in the morning. Wasn't sure whether or not to take my heavy coat. It seemed an extra load to have to carry. Having a big suitcase full of heavy conference stuff didn't help matters either but my lucky star was shining. At every station from London to Harrogate, charming young men carried it up and down the stairs so my journey was smooth and uneventful. Well, it was uneventful until nearing York. Sods law, I fell asleep between stops. The train was about to leave when panic mode set in. I shouted 'don't let the train go' like a hysterical fool as I grabbed by stuff - bag, book and coat. Some people are just wonderful. A stranger blocked the door so it couldn't shut, another lifted up the suitcase from the rack and put it outside the platform and a station man rushed up with a trolley. There were actually people waving as the train pulled out. It was a real classic comedy show.

At Harrogate, rushing round like a blue arse fly to get everything done in time before conference officially opened, I was having a brief rest sitting in the lobby of the Holiday Inn. The sun was still shining when it suddenly started to snow. Thought it was just shower but it continued getting thicker and thicker - the temperature dropped rapidly and it became very cold. I was so glad I had brought my coat. What a beautiful sight as everywhere became covered in thick white. Can't remember when I last experienced such a heavy downfall in England. Walking on the crunchy snow underfoot between the venue and the conference centre was magical.

It didn't stop throughout - in the evening I was so ravenous, couldn't wait for the people I was supposed to be going out to dinner with. Joe Byron and I decided to go out together on our own for something quick. She was keen on pizza and had seen a place nearby. Not a big fan myself but decided to give it a go. We trotted out of the hotel oblivious to the weather conditions. Well! Susanne slipped. The crispy snow had turned to ice. Didn't actually fall over but skidded which gave me a shock (not as young as I was). That started the funniest memory of conference, the hilarious journey to the pizza parlour and back. Felt like two old grannies on our last legs, Joe holding me up as we walked along at snail-pace. She of course had the practical non-slip boots.

On returning, attended the London local government reception. Couldn't handle drinking anything except sparkling water. Had an important meeting Saturday morning which needed a clear head. Least I was able to dance for a couple of hours. Most people are under the impression that older people can't dance to disco or are out of touch with the lastest moves. I just think it's more about them feeling awkward and afraid they might make fools of themselves in front of younger folk. It's never been my problem. I don't actually care what people think of me. I know I can dance so it's tough.